Case Study: b:friend

7th November 2024

B:Friend’s volunteer befrienders pledge to visit a socially isolated older neighbour near them for one hour per week for a cuppa and a chat. The project has supported over 3,640 older neighbours since its inception, with almost 2,500 matches lasting over a year. They cover South Yorkshire and parts of Derbyshire, with plans to expand even further.

Their case study tells the story of Shane and Sue, who found friendship after losing close family members.

Looking for a meaningful connection

Shane and Sue met through b:friend over two years ago. After Sue lost her husband and Shane’s grandmother passed away, they were both looking for a meaningful connection – and found friendship in an unexpected place.

The duo quickly formed a firm friendship. They enjoyed catching up over a cuppa or going out together, and Shane even met Sue’s family.

Shane introduced Sue to his partner, Max, who also joined the visits. Max performs as a drag artist, and Sue has been to see his shows with Shane and loved them.

I needed somebody different

Sue said:

“I was lonely, you see. I’d been married for 53 years and knew my husband for 58 years and all of a sudden, he was gone. So, to me I was lonely.”

Although Sue attended a bereavement support group and her family encouraged her to get out more, she said she felt it didn’t help, so she used to stay in a lot.

She said the befriending with Shane was just what she needed:

“I just needed somebody different… I really enjoyed the fact it was different. It’s happened to be a new life to me. I’ve never done this before and, you know, I’ve been 58 years really in my own little world, and I’ve come out of it, and it’s different and it’s nice.”

Shane was paired with Sue after seeing an advert on Facebook. He thought “Why not?” and gave it a go:

“I lost one of my grandparents, I lost my Nana, and I felt like I’ve got a bit of a bit of a hole in my life

“I remember coming around the first day and I expected a shy, retiring elderly woman, maybe watching The Chase on an evening, and it’s certainly not what I’ve got! But we’re very happy, aren’t we? I think we suit.”