Focus on Youth Loneliness: The importance of trusted adults, belonging and meaningful relationships

23rd September 2026

“Loneliness is not visible. A young person can attend school, they can speak to people, they can appear to have friendships, but at the same time that does not mean that they always feel fully understood or like they belong somewhere.” Kadie-Rose Tarawally, Big Hearts Community Trust

I left the recent meeting of the Scottish Forum on Social Isolation and Loneliness reflecting on something that has been a constant throughout my career: meaningful relationships change lives.

Whether we are talking about a youth worker, befriender, mentor, volunteer, or teacher, trusted adults can provide the stability, encouragement and sense of belonging that help children and young people navigate life’s challenges.

The Forum’s focus on children, young people and loneliness brought attention to different data sets which indicate the prevalence of youth loneliness. The 2022 PISA study found that 16% of 15 years olds were lonely at school.

Loneliness is shaped by the environments in which children and young people grow up, the opportunities available to them, and the barriers they may face. The Forum is a space to deepen our understanding that loneliness is relational, structural and environmental, influenced by everything from poverty and discrimination to transport, community infrastructure, school systems and access to welcoming spaces.

Creating opportunities for connection

Our keynote speaker was Dr Helen MacIntyre, whose work with schools highlighted that loneliness is often misunderstood as ‘being alone’. Young people may be surrounded by others, appear socially connected and still experience profound feelings of exclusion or disconnection. Her presentation challenged us to think beyond individual solutions and consider how everyday systems, cultures and environments either create or limit opportunities for connection and belonging.

The importance of trusted adults surfaced repeatedly throughout the discussion. As someone who has spent many years advocating for children’s rights and as a youth worker, it was no surprise how often quality relationships emerged as the common thread running through every solution proposed.

An important message is that loneliness does not affect all young people equally. Young people who are care experienced, disabled, Deaf, LGBTQ+, living in rural areas, seeking asylum, providing care for family members, or facing financial hardship often encounter additional barriers to participation and belonging. The discussion challenged us to move beyond one-size-fits-all solutions and recognise that connection is shaped by access, inclusion, opportunity and rights.

Insights from the sector

Lorraine Glass from respectme added an important perspective on bullying, friendship and the long-term impact of exclusion. Her contribution was a reminder that loneliness can be intensified when children and young people are made to feel that they do not fit, or when they believe that they are unlikeable.

I was struck by her emphasis on the role adults play in helping children learn the skills of friendship, and in recognising when exclusion, bullying or digital harms are affecting a young person’s confidence and sense of self. Her reflections reinforced that trusted adults are not simply there to respond when something has gone wrong; they are part of the wider protective network that helps children and young people feel safe, valued and able to belong.

Kadie-Rose Tarawally’s reflections from Big Hearts Community Trust also stayed with me. She spoke powerfully about how loneliness is often hidden, particularly for young people who may appear connected on the surface but do not feel fully understood or secure in their relationships.

Her examples from work with young people in kinship care, young people new to the city, autistic young people, asylum seekers and refugees highlighted how upheaval, transport, money, confidence and changing family circumstances can all shape a young person’s ability to belong. What I found especially important was her reminder that connection cannot be forced by simply placing young people in the same room. Relationship-building takes safety, consistency, choice and time.

Laura Pasternak from Who Cares? Scotland provided a particularly powerful reminder of how relationship disruption affects care-experienced children and young people. She asked us to imagine losing the network of family relationships and familiar connections many of us take for granted. Her call for stronger ‘scaffolding’ of support, lifelong relationships and opportunities for belonging was clearly made.

Contributions from Emily Beever of the Scottish Youth Parliament challenged us to think about young people’s shrinking access to public spaces, youth services and affordable opportunities to gather. Young people described feeling pushed out of both physical and online spaces. Her reminder that policies are too often done ‘to’ young people rather than ‘with’ them is one we should all take seriously. If we want to address loneliness effectively, young people must be involved in shaping the solutions.

Why youth befriending matters

Belonging is not created through services alone. It grows through relationships. It grows when young people are heard, respected and valued. It grows when trusted adults consistently show up. And it grows when communities invest in the spaces and opportunities that allow connections to flourish.

That is why youth befriending matters. Not simply as a response to loneliness, but as part of the preventative infrastructure that helps children and young people feel connected, valued and included. In a world where loneliness is increasingly recognised as a public health and social challenge, befrienders have an important role to play as trusted adults, connectors and champions of belonging for all young people, especially those facing the greatest barriers to connection.

You can find a youth befriending service near you using the Befriending Networks Directory of befriending services.

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