Guest blog: Giving loneliness a voice

15th June 2026

Having had a turbulent childhood and struggled with unpredictable environments and at times losing my identity altogether, I can confidently say I was lonely and I was acutely aware of it. I was sure of it. It was inherent. It’s always been part of me whereas for others that wasn’t a similarity they shared with me, at least that I knew of. That made me feel so lonely. 

I always felt that experiences I had affected me significantly. My time in paediatric care until I was 8 years old and subsequently being discharged, the effects of which I still struggle with. The support network had gone.

I attended a hospital appointment recently, nearly 25 years on, and reflected:

White walls
Long halls
Constant deja vu 
Of the profound impact this had on you

Bereavement at a young age affected me significantly. I refer here to losing my grandparents. Bullying also affected my sense of loneliness. An experience of this in my early twenties made me determined to find positive social connections, and it was in doing so that I formed friendships with people whose loyalty, kindness, care and, more importantly, support during my unending pain gave me the space to recover, connect, and restore hope.

I wrote this poem about my friend who epitomised the meaning of friendship:

I wonder what it will be like 
A dream 
Thanks for being on my team 
For giving me the space to talk 
It’s so overwhelming 
Your kindness has been
On a level I have rarely seen 
You just heal trauma 
I will write this in your honour 
A thanks for what you do
The world needs more of you

Social connection is so important. In unpredictable times, familiarity was where I found comfort and stability. Safety. Speaking to a neighbour I had known for years, waving to the lollipop lady, the bus driver I see regularly. It was about connection for me. It all forms a feeling of familiarity and safety that, although unpredictability remains part of life, some things will remain the same. I take comfort in this in an ever-changing world. I craved stability.

Preserving that sense of community is crucial. We have to remain connected. It’s a priority. 

I found connection in a half marathon I did in 2019. I ran for a military charity and the kindness I felt from other runners was so cherished. I felt I belonged. I was late for my train home as I took longer than I anticipated. At the station, as I waited for my train to approach to go north, there was a soldier on the platform opposite and he just smiled. I smiled back and I’ll always cherish that. I remember thinking, “I’ve always looked up to you”. It was such a special moment.

I wrote this poem shortly after:

Thank you for today
The smiles and the waves 
It’s a really crucial insight
Into the way the world behaves

When I was growing up, it seemed loneliness wasn’t taken seriously. I didn’t ever bring it up as I felt I would be given insincere sympathy and it wasn’t going to be taken seriously. So I didn’t talk about it. There was also this idea that you couldn’t be lonely if you had friends. I think we have a better understanding now of what being lonely means. I had friends but the reason I was lonely was because I struggled with grief, change and lack of support. Loneliness comes in many forms. 

When I felt lonely, it was because I was lacking that connection to anyone who really understood me. I struggled to trust the world and support wasn’t easy to come by. I think we need to be proactive when it comes to loneliness, particularly with young people, as they may suffer in silence just as I did. I just wanted support, that was all. I hope sharing my story goes some way towards giving loneliness a voice. 

Thank you to Melissa for sharing her story and poetry to mark Loneliness Awareness Week. If you are looking for a befriending service in your area, search our Befriending Directory. If you are experiencing feelings of persistent or chronic loneliness, chat to your GP.

You can call Samaritans when life is difficult, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Call free on 116 123. Visit samaritans.org for more information on what to do if you’re not feeling okay.