Wednesday’s Child – Abi: #BefriendingIs stepping in with a listening ear and incredible lived-experience insight
26th September 2021
Wednesday’s Child is a not for profit organisation providing support to those affected by eating disorders. The befriending scheme helps match those who have recovered, with those who need help in their journey back towards a healthier, happier life.
Sarah’s perspective:
When I was first approached to be a befriender, I was a little nervous as I was going to be directly involved in someone’s recovery journey. It was important for me that I was matched with someone I felt I would have a connection with – no two recoveries are the same, but there are similarities which lived experiences can really help with.
Being paired with Abi was perfect.
We’re both mothers, of a similar age and had both experienced late-onset anorexia.
Although the focus of our conversations was about Abi’s thoughts, feelings and progress, our shared experiences meant we immediately had things to talk about beyond the illness – so important since a big part of recovery is reconnecting to our lives outside of an eating disorder identity.
Abi and I hit it off immediately. We began with weekly chats but after a while the formal conversations were also added to with text messages about our kids, holidays and husbands, bringing the ‘friend’ part of the word ‘befriender’ to life.
But what makes this type of friendship so beneficial is that because I’ve been through ED recovery myself, I could both empathise when Abi was struggling, but also gently call Abi out when I knew she was telling me what her eating disorder wanted me to hear, rather than the whole truth about her thoughts and behaviours. I’d been there, done that, and know all too well that you can’t kid a kidder!
When our formal partnership ended, at Abi’s own suggestion once she felt ready, we celebrated what we had shared by meeting up in person for a fantastic day out – talking for hours, shopping and eating pizza together. We remain good friends and keep in touch regularly.
Abi’s perspective:
As a result of our befriending partnership, Sarah has gone from being a total stranger to a true friend.
The empathy, compassion and understanding she showed throughout our befriending relationship were matched only by her humour, willingness to challenge me and unswerving faith that I was capable of recovering from anorexia, even when I was struggling to believe it myself.
Knowing she was at the end of the phone for a weekly call was such a beacon of light during a really turbulent time, and we’d often exchange brief messages in-between as we got to know each other better – shared jokes, recovery wins, silly pics…just the normal stuff of friendship.
I’ve been really fortunate to have good professional support during my recovery journey, but befriending bridged the gap between the support of clinicians and the support of family.
At times when troubling my NHS team felt difficult and adding yet more emotional burden to my family felt unfair, Sarah stepped in with a listening ear and incredible lived-experience insight.
We are no longer befriending partners, but we are still good friends. Meeting up in person for the first time after restrictions lifted was incredibly special.
By: Wednesday’s Child
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